Quote: You deserve better than this! You have become a doormat and you deserve better! me: I am not a doormat! I have done what I felt is best and I have tried my best! All I want is us to be happy as individuals and together!
I agree with the other posters, She thinks you are, and that perception is what counts right now. From your descriptions the ILY and constant questions after she tells you what she want's "to be friends" is trying to pull her back into the cage and lock the cage door. If you can't see this, then re-read DR again and really think about it.
Quote: I want to call her! I want to write her a note....send flowers....go find her at school..... Why does my heart and mind tell me to do this! Why won't she appreciate it! What the hell happened?!
You acted NEEDY. Stop.
Quote:
I know GAL! Move on do things for yourself! I thought about that what if doing something for yourself is saving your marriage....now what!?
You answered your own question. For the past few days I have detached and stayed unavailable as much as possible. Whenever we do interact I am nice, loving and sometimes will be flirty. I am ALWAYS confident and in control of any discussion even if I am feeling like crap inside. I would suggest that if you have another room you can sleep in, DO IT! Or better yet, telher that it would be best if SHE moved into the other room. Then she has to feel what it's like to be a 'guest' in her own house and what it will feel like to NOT be with you (or anyone) when she goes to sleep at nite (lonely) and she has much more time to think. Give her what she wants.
By the way, I have a lot of friends that I only talk to when they call me. So, let her come to you to talk. Then it's on your terms and it's only about her issues. NEVER tell her ILY unless it is a response to a question or issue where it would be appropriate. I have only said ILY to my W once in about a month, and it was only to let her know that Me and our kids love her and don't wish her anything bad.
I NEVER say 'I need you'. I saw myself in the needy phase and all I was getting were 'pity hugs'. Screw that. I want the real thing.
Give her exactly what she asked for. My W wanted to be 'on her own' so I told her she should pay expenses to live in our house since she is 'separated'. That was a shock to her. I ended up paying for a lot of things because she realized she couldn't. But she is paying a share and is now BROKE. REALITY bites.
STOP BEING NEEDY. You are! Stop it! It hurts to suddenly cut off the contact you've been having because it 'looks like' intimacy but it's NOT. She isn't feeling it and because of that she is feeling guilty.
LET GO! It won't make things worse. It WILL make things change.
