Quote: But how do you hide the hurt? It just comes thru sometimes!
So true Tim but a lot of the advice I have gotten here and elsewhere is not to try to hide the pain as much as not direct it at her. I have been told to let her see how much I hurt, but to be careful you don't seem pathetic. I guess that means just don't mope around or cry in front of her but an occasional reminder isn't a terrible thing. They cannot, nor do they expect that we are REALLY ok. What they need to see is that we are making the effort to be even in the face of them not being there for us, maybe ever. It shows that maybe we are taking responsibility for us and thus freeing them up to take responsibility for them. Of course to me and you that means giving them the freedom to leave us and why the hell would we want to do that? Well, because they were not ours to keep like that in the first place and if it's not truly their will to be with us, then we are going to end up hurting the ones we claim to love so much.
