Tim, my man, you are the same personality type as me it sounds like. You get wrapped up in the expectations of a situation you have in your head and when they don't come true, you obsess over it. You have this idea in your head about how things need to be while you guys work on the R that is TOTALLY not what your W wants right now. She was trying to be subtle in the beginning and now she is being forced to be blunt.
STOP (and I know how hard it is...I can't do it either) obsessing over how YOU think this should work. YOU think she should wear the rings. Well, for better or worse, YOU don't control that. YOU think you guys got to a certain place in your reconciliation but clearly SHE does not, or if she did, she's not there anymore. Nothing you can SAY to her will bring her back to that place and furthermore, you have the luxury of her telling you to back off.
She's trying to get you to stop pressuring her. Point is, your overwhelming need to know where you stand is not only understandable but natural. Problem is that it is also a need to control the situation, something you need to realize that you do not do, but for that matter, neither does she.
She is telling you in no uncertain terms one thing and one thing only; stop talking to me about this.
She is NOT telling you that things are finished. She is even trying to give you some hope between the lines but by reading into everything she says and does, or needing her to explain it to you, you do not allow her to escape that feeling that you want to control her or the situation.
Hell, I wish I could take my own advice but I can't. I do the same damn thing but it's easier to see when it's someone else's situation.
Take a deep breath, collect yourself and realize that it's not over. You still have a chance. You still have choices YOU can make that may influence the outcome. One of them is to give her what she's asking for and that's friendship and space. Of course one other is to call everything off but you're not to that place yet I hope.
Anyway, you are in one of those horrible down cycles again and I really hope you pull out of it. It really sucks to be there, I know because I'm there too...
