HELP! "Just friends?" Slipping very fast

[Tim297181]

I need help and fast! I think my stitch is getting out of control, and I made a major error!!!!
I do not know haw to link my old posting to this new one but it is "Now what - Did what I was supposed to"
My wife went to her "study" group last nite. When she got home we had a glass of wine and then went to bed. She seemed a little distant to say the least.
Went to bed and after the lites went out I asked her if she still felt stressed (I was refering to her big exam this weekend).
W: Yes my wheels are just spinning there is alot going on in my head
Me: If you want to talk about anything I am here for you when you are ready
w: There is so much for me to sort out and deal with and I have some major sessions with our councilor very soon!
NOW HERE COMES THE BIG ONE!
w: Can you just be my friend through all this?
me: Of course I can I will always be your friend! I am here for you, but does that mean we stop being husband and wife, and you want to be just friends?
w: What do you think it means...
me: I am not sure explain it to me?
w: I ahve so much to sort thru I just need us to be friends
me: Do we just stop being husband and wife, and goto being just friends? I am there for you but this is tough becasue I will always be your friend!

The conversation went on from there! It did not go pretty becasue I started to pressure her for answers. I told her that the "Big pink elephant" representing the OM has been avoided and it is staring us in the face. I also told her that when she took the call from him right in front of me that it really hurt. I went on about her and I being happy and as individuals and that is when it went sour again:
w: Stop pressuring me!
me: How am I pressuring you I need to know?
w: Stop and think about it I am going to sleep!"
pause
me: what about the OM are you seeing him again?
w: Interesting queston......Am I seeing him? Well you know we have been talking....and you know my feelings are unresolved right from the start, middle and even now
me: So what does that mean?
w: You deserve better than this! You have become a doormat and you deserve better!
me: I am not a doormat! I have done what I felt is best and I have tried my best! All I want is us to be happy as individuals and together!
w: Stop can we just go to bed! I am going to sleep on the couch!
me: No. Sorry. I just want..
w: Just stop OK and stop pressuring I am tired
Long pause
me: (whispering) I am sorry I love you
w: (pause and very softly) I love you to (but it was strained)

Now what! Get up in the morning and act like nothing happened las nite?
Bring it up again and give her a little tough love to get her off the sea saw?
Shut my big mouth and give her here space and just be friends?
JUST FRIENDS! What a load of $#%#%# we both started the reconciliation process and now back to just friends! This is oushing me to the place I do not want to goto again and that is starting over!
How can I not pressure her when there is so much unresolved and between us, the OM, and our life!