Until you can get in to see a physician, pick up on B vitamins, expecially B-12. They should help you a bit. I'm very worried about you and I'm glad to see that Karen stopped by to visit w/you as well.
Please take care of yourself.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.