Yep Kismet, I'm still soldiering around. Just doing the daily things to keep the household running.
I wanted to post this for all you DB men out there. I talked with a woman who had an affair. Very interesting conversation. She told me that she knew the relationship wouldn't work. That he wasn't the guy for her. Yet, she couldn't get enough. It was addictive. He told her things that her H had never told her. Held her, stroked her hair, told her how beautiful and special she was. You can see how someone can get wrapped up in the infatuation and addictive "high" that this creates. She ended the A and they haven't had any contact for several months. She did say though that she would go back in a minute if he called. Even though she knows it wouldn't work and it was so wrong. Just lets you know how addictive the A is. And how someone can get completely caught up and lose sight of the real world. Because you are in fantasy land. And while it lasts, fantasy land is bliss.
I can see now how my H has decided to walk out. Although the A has lasted a long time, there has never been the day to day drudgery. It is still fantasy. It will become the day to day monotony one day, and maybe only then will he know just what he gave up. But I am ready to move on. It's time.
I'm going to start a new thread on the Surviving the Big D forum. I don't want to discourage any of you still fighting hard to save your M. Please don't stop. You will know when it is time to move on. I can honestly say to myself that I did everything I could to save my M. I have no regrets. That makes going forward SO much easier.
So keep DBing! You might not save your marriage, but you will definitely save yourself!
WCB
P.S. - I'll keep posting here til I lock up!
God grant me the serenity,
to accept the things I cannot change,
To change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference.
- Reinhold Niebuhr
