Well, I survived another day. Went back to work - that is actually a good thing. It does keep my mind off of my sitch some of the time. And the money is helpful. I will have to find a real job but not right away. I want to be picky and find something that works for me.

I am still really hurting from this. I keep wondering why? In my mind, I was ready for this. So, what is the difference? Is reality that much of a change? I guess I see that my marriage is really ending. That is my reality. I guess I held on to the hope that we were strong enough together to get through this. Now I feel like he is just throwing away 20 years. That I gave all of myself for so long and he can just throw it out like the trash without even trying for us or for the kids. That is hard to accept. But, I know that I did all I could. I have no regrets. I did my best so save my M - for H and I and for our children. We are going to tell them this weekend. They will be so sad. My heart is breaking already. But, I have to find my strength. For them. They need me now. Probably more than ever. So, it's time to dig deep. I have it in me. I just have to find it!

I might switch over to surviving the big D. I don't want to get anyone down who is still working hard to save their M. To all of you, keep trying. Keep working at it so that you will have no regrets, either way.

Have a good evening -

WCB

God grant me the serenity, to accept the things I cannot change, To change the things I can, And the wisdom to know the difference. - Reinhold Niebuhr