Here's to 2006 - May it bring a new start!

[WindyCityBeth]

It is very hard when you see them and you behave "normally" when you do. I have the bonus of seeing her AND OM about half the time which tends to speed up the process a bit.


Al - It is hard when everything on the surface seems so normal. And I don't have to deal with OW - never met her and the kids don't even know about her. I guess it spares me some pain. And no irritating coughing in the background!

Sorry you are feeling that way Beth. I find detachment easy cos mine is more a caca than a sweetheart, but your wah seems to show a lot of love regularly, which would make it hard. I hope it all falls into place


Kismet - you crack me up! I love you calling your wah a caca! LOL!!! But yes, my H is still very sweet and loving toward me. Can be VERY confusing. I do believe he is passive-aggressive though with some ca thrown in. And has his head stuck up his rear.

Now how about a joke for Beth, Kismet you have heaps of them and then Beth can go and pour herself a Merlot, or Martini or whatever else tickles her fancy....

Thanks for that suggestion KDU! I can always use a good laugh! Do you feel put on the spot Kismet? I'm waiting....

The fact is you have grown tremendously through this process... And, you continue to grow. I can see such a difference in your postings now. Even when you feel down you sound so much better than you did when I first began reading your posts. I see such a quick turnaround when you seem to be "missing your H". I am impressed with how well you cope and deal with your feelings...

Hi there OCKim! Thanks for popping in! I do turn around much faster that I used to. That's a good thing! Early on I could ponder one sentence for days. No more of that! I'm glad to see you are doing better! I'll post more on your thread!

You're not on a deadline here honey...don't make a mistake that the both of you may live to regret...slow it down then?


I'm trying! I feel so stuck right now. Like the movie Groundhog Day. Just living through this over and over and over and over...well, you get the idea! It's hard emotionally. I am detaching but with the small amount of hope I have left, I am still emotionally invested. I remember reading in DR that at some point we have to make the decision that we have done all we can and it is time to let go and move on. I have done all I can. And I know that this is not a healthy place for me to be for much longer. So no time lines but I also know that soon I have to do something. And no, you don't need any 2X4's. I know what your talking about! It is so hard to keep up with everything here on the board! I can't even keep up with my own thread, let alone others!!!

Journaling:

I think I know what hit me so hard today. Was reading posts on the separated forum and a WAH with the screen name finally_free posted there. He could be MY H. I know he isn't really my H but so much of my H's complaints about me were written in his thread! I have debated about replying but I think I will wait. His posts really hit a nerve (not bad, just reliving VERY difficult things) with me. It brought up all those dreadful memories right after the bomb. It hurt, but was also theraputic. I thought I had dealt with all of those issues but my reaction to the post lets me know I need to feel them once more, process them, and then really let them go. I think I have done that, and I do feel better now. As the LBS, we do sometimes feel like the victim. But there are 2 people in a marriage and both contribute to the problems. It is hard to deal with those issues when you are hurting so badly but it is important to know the role you played in the breakdown of the marriage and then figure out what you need to do to change it. I have been doing that. It is hard, but it saved me.

So, how many of you are still reading this after the mega-post? Congratulations! For what, I don't know. But it sounds good!

WCB