So where are you going Beth? Somewhere far far away from limbo land? I hope it's somewhere warm, so you can thaw out!
Yep, going somewhere very warm! Should be fun!
Well, just when you think you have detached and nothing can phase you, my heart is on the rollercoaster again. I know it is a temporary thing, but it is still hard. I guess I realize that I do still love my H. That has never changed and probably never will. It is just so hard to really let go when I see him and talk to him and things are so cordial and easy. (sound familiar, Al?) It's just hard to believe that I am on the road to divorce. And I don't really think he wants to divorce me. So WTF are we doing? After reading some other posts about conflict- avoiders, that is so me. I wondered if I was passive-agressive but I think I'm more of a CA. I think H is probably more pa with a little ca. Make sense? We always seemed to avoid the big conflicts. Those big white elephants in the room. I am getting better. I've had to deal with LOTS of conflict over the last 16 months. Can't believe it has been that long. He just seems so incapable of making any kind of decision right now. I guess I just need to find more patience. Nothing will change soon, and even if we do decide to D, my life won't change much from what it is now. I am already on mt own, taking care of the kids, dog, house, and myself. And I'm doing pretty well. Am getting a life. Having fun. So what am I afraid of? I'm already doing this!
Sorry about the big ramble. Just needed to get that off my chest. Thanks for listening (or reading as the case may be!)
WCB
God grant me the serenity,
to accept the things I cannot change,
To change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference.
- Reinhold Niebuhr
