It is funny, XW accused me of being incapable of true intimacy or at least of growing to be incapable of it, but true intimacy means letting so much of yourself be vulnerable that you cannot easily cut things off and move on. Guess which one of us was at that point?
Have a chocolate martini for me. Man, you have great tastes
I'll have a couple for you! I think your XW was talking about herself. She's just too caught up in her crap to see it. She may realize it. She may not. But I know that you will be a wonderful H and partner to a lucky lady someday...
Like Al, I would not have thought it from H's personality, but he needs approval and acceptance before he can feel good about himself.
VJ - I'm glad it's not just me! I was beginning to feel a little stupid just recognizing this. I knew H was selfish but the light bulb REALLY went off when I realized the self esteem stuff!
I find I am still struggling with this at times and learning how to maintain a positive self-esteem that does not rely on what others say or do. I now realize just how incredibly important that is to bring into a healthy R. To expect anyone else to help us with our self-esteem is really being unfair to the other person.
Dana - Thanks for stopping by! You said that so well. I too struggled after the bomb. Especially because I was told all this happened because I was fat and he was embarrassed by me and resented me. I now see that he was looking to me to boost his self esteem. But I couldn't. You can only do that for yourself. So, I am regaining my self esteem back. You are too.
Maybe just a piccolo bottle delivered by a magnum size courier? . Hey, hate to see it smash in the post Yep, still eating chocolate. Now chocolate martinis I have to try one of those. Never heard of them, may have to educate myself.
Kismet - I'm working on the magnum size courier. That's tough! I suppose your looking for the boofy type!
Got to try a chocolate martini. Just be careful! You can get rather intoxicated VERY quickly!!!!!
Me's thinking that we should meet up in Hawaii...that would almost be halfway...we can spend a week drinking chocolate martinia, eating chocolate and looking at beefcake!! WCB, you game?
Oh yes, I am game! We can meet on Kauai - the most beautiful place on the earth. If we are there though, we have to drink Mai Tais too. I only drink them in Hawaii! They are tasty! Now I really have to work out to drop these Christmas pounds!!
Thanks to all of you for your posts! H has the kids this weekend so I plan to relax and enjoy some peace and quiet. Going out to dinner and a movie with a friend tomorrow then have been invited to watch the Bears playoff game with friends on Sunday. Should be fun.
Hope everyone has a good weekend - remember life is what you make of it. Make it a great day!
WCB
God grant me the serenity,
to accept the things I cannot change,
To change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference.
- Reinhold Niebuhr
