My H was def. having a self-esteem crisis and I most certainly wasn't stroking his ego when the A started. I must admit at the time I was being pretty critical about his employment issues. OW def. stroked his ego. OW also was having esteem issues, as her H had left her. My H has somewhat recognized this I think. He has admitted to me that part of why he hasn't taken action to change things is out of pride. H always had a confident aura about him previously. I was the one who was more insecure. And when he left, it hammered my self-esteem. I find I am still struggling with this at times and learning how to maintain a positive self-esteem that does not rely on what others say or do. I now realize just how incredibly important that is to bring into a healthy R. To expect anyone else to help us with our self-esteem is really being unfair to the other person.
