OK, I'll join the club. I also did all the stuff around the house and it was never good enough for H. I love not having that pressure anymore. I never realized how tense I would get when he was due home if the house wasn't cleaned up - it would really bother him, and that bothered me!
And his young (27) OW strokes his ego much better than I was doing after 15 years. And she was in an unhappy marriage with a man who was abusive (I know he was controlling, but I wonder about the physical abuse. It might have been exaggerated to get my H to go running over there to 'save' her more than once) It made him feel good. However, now I see that he is living with judgement from a few people about their R...since it's in the open and it's fairly obvious why both of them got D'd. He doesn't like that. Like Al, I would not have thought it from H's personality, but he needs approval and acceptance before he can feel good about himself.
