Hey Beth! Well I have (or was) always convinced that XW was a person with the least self esteem problem I have ever met. Exudes confidence, that one does. I decided I was the one with that problem. I have had that so ingrained in my thinking, that it was really hard to decide it was any other way.

But lately, I have begun to realize a few things. First, the consuming fear of being alone, without someone even for a week or two, that she clearly has must be indicative of some self esteem problem. Second, as much as I like the idea of being neurotic , I have never been one to be "afraid" of egomaniacs. I really like forthright and overly aggressive people. Most of my friends are that way. My XW was too. Somehow, I knew those people were hiding something but that was ok with me. They liked me because I didn' run scared of them (and maybe because they relaized that I knew their secret but didn't worry about it).

It is funny, XW accused me of being incapable of true intimacy or at least of growing to be incapable of it, but true intimacy means letting so much of yourself be vulnerable that you cannot easily cut things off and move on. Guess which one of us was at that point?

Have a chocolate martini for me. Man, you have great tastes