I'm glad you're still stoping in from time to time...
As far as me trying something different...I am currently trying something different and that's to just go with the flow...to do my best to be happy despite the fact that my needs arent' being met.
But I can only take so much...
it had been 4 months since my h made and advance at me...last week he wathced tv with me...and when we went up to bed he say's "are you asleep" (uh? we just got into bed and you know it takes a while for me to fall asleep) "No?"..."wanna play?"...(WTF?)...."not really"..."maybe you need some coaxing?"..(WTF? some coaxing would have been for you to try to kiss me 3 hours ago not wait for us to get in bed and then ask me if I wanna play)..."you do realize that it's been 4 months since you've been interested in me? it's kinda hard for me to go from nothing to something" "well if that's how you feel" "I don't think you understand...I can't deal with the inconsistancy...I'd rather have nothing than have it once ever couple of months out of no where" "OK, well if that's how you feel today...there's always tommorrow"
(HUH?)
(do you hear me?)
"I don't want to fight with you but this has always been a problem...and I'm starting to not think it's a problem with you...it's a problem with US if we don't have an emotional connection how can I expect there to be a physical connection?"
"OK, well I have to move over here...I'm not moving away from you I just need to be comfortable to sleep."
(HUH?)
That was a week ago...wanna bet we go another 4 months before he suddenly gets horny outa left field and I'm supposed to just say...Oh, OK You're interested now let me get into it...oh wait I'm used to being alone for this stuff..how do I do this with an active participant?
go ahead and shoot me down again...tell me that when I get what I want I'm not happy...it's not enough...now think about it...I've been trying to deal with the sex issue for years...I can play along and think...yeah! this is great again only to discover it's not going to happen again for a month at best or I can be realistic and say...I'm not falling into this trap again...don't give me what I'll want more of if you're then going to deny me it...I'd rather not have it.
