I'm sorry you're still feeling this way, LL - really I am. I don't know what to say anymore. From this side it honestly looks like you're just sitting there saying "I've done all the changing and experiments I'm gonna do, and he's not changing." And "I hate this, but I'm NOT ready to do anything different". It was Einstein who said the definition of insanity is doing the same thing and expecting different results.
I've asked you several times to tell us about what you would have to "know" or "see" to know that you were ready to do something different? You say, "I'll know".
Sweetie, of course nothing is different! When he started doing something different, like coming home to dinner, you didn't appreciate it - you said it broke the routine you had with the kids.
I am not saying that what you want is wrong. I just think that you can get what you want in small increments, small changes - BUT you have to be willing to do something, something different. It will never change by sitting around and saying "it's not changing".
I know you're tired and frustrated - but it does very much look like it's YOU that isn't willing to do any changing NOW (I am NOT talking about all the things you did before). What would it take for you to move in any direction - forward, backwards, sideways - whatever. What do you need to have happen for you to be willing to take a small start somewhere?
