Quote: The past 2+ years, that trust has been shaken, and i hate to say that i really doubt anything that comes out of his mouth. Why, then, would i want to be with him? I don't know.
You want to be with him because you love him. It's the same reason all of us are here and trying to fix our marriages.
I can't tell you how tiresome it gets defending my actions to many of my friends. He cheated so why do you want him? It's like my friends think I don't know this already and haven't realized that I should just forget about him and move on. Well frankly if the price I pay for spending a lifetime with my H is the hell I've been through over the past year I would do it again in a second.
Hey brava - thanks for checking in. And thanks for that book suggestion...i will definitely look for it. Thats really the one thing that i have been sure of throughout this whole ordeal...that if my H and I did D, i would not make it into some nasty battle. I refused to allow my M to turn into something ugly...i entered into it with love and i was determined to exit it with love, regardless of what my H did to me. It was just something i felt very strongly about...and something my family really couldn't understand...oh well. Hope all is well with you brava - i am going to check in with your thread soon.
Morning- Kind of having a rough day today. I think its b/c i took the day off yesterday and i had too much time on my hands to think about my sitch. Plus, my H didn't bother to call me yesterday to see how i was feeling...that really hurt. God, I f...ing hate this! I just want my life to go back to normal. I want to have a real M, with the person that i chose to spend the rest of my life with. Why is it so easy for him to just walk away? I don't understand how he could be doing this to me, especially when he claims that i am "the love of his life." I'm sorry, if thats the case, then you don't get D...you figure out a way to fix things. But, thats just me i guess. Why can't he realize how much i love him and how much i have been willing to put up with to be with him? He has taken everything in my life and just turned it upside down. Why does he think that things will be better with the beast and her 2 kids? God, he just pisses me off! Sorry for the rant...just feeling very pissy today!
So sorry you are having a rough day; I have them, too. I find that the weekends are tough because I have more time on my hands then. And, then of course I end up thinking about it too much. I hope you can find something to take your mind off of it. That will help you have a better day! Don’t listen to what he says, Imdi. Even the good things. I think that is a big part of our problem. They will say a lot of things to us. My H. is so confused that I just have to stop trying to take what he says and think it’s going to answer a piece of this puzzle. Are you meeting Sassy in the city next week? I won’t be going in, as I have to work Monday. I hope you have fun, if you go!
Most of us really marry only once. First love endures, even unto our dying day. And we never really divorce.
Bad days happen. I know it's hard to occupy yourself on the weekends and days off. I hate them myself. I am really just here to say hang in there. Better days are coming and you are loved by many, and you still love many.
Feeling a bit pissy here too. Maybe it's the cold, windy weather here.
I don't understand either how your H can say you are the love of his life and act that way. For what it's worth, he probably doesn't know himself. My H goes on about how beautiful I am and how good I smell and how he loves me but then says we're just not right for each other. Frustrating to say the least.
But, as it was said where I went to college, "if you don't like the weather, wait 10 minutes." Give yourself a little time and your mood will come around. Oh, and chocolate helps.
Imdi, In case you missed the breakfast invite on the other thread, can you make it Sunday at 10am out on Long Island? Sassy and I will be there, and possibly NYS. We're the new Breakfast Club! I know it's a hike for you, but if you want to join us, post a reply! Hope
Most of us really marry only once. First love endures, even unto our dying day. And we never really divorce.
Quote: think its b/c i took the day off yesterday and i had too much time on my hands to think about my sitch.
This is when I struggle too... i'm sure it's when we all struggle... when those brains start tick-tickin' away and click-clickin' away.
You're entitled to your rants... i know i need them. There are days when my rage and my anger are so raw, it almost scares me. But, as my C says, you have to allow yourself every emotion because those are the only things you can count on right now... so you hang on to them, you have them, and you learn from them. And don't let the beast get you down... i know it's crippling and paralyzing... trust me, whenever i think of the Twit, i just feel like i'm a steam kettle. The thing of it is, it defies reason and logic. Look at my sitch, he's giving up a smart, funny, likeable, not ugly, sweet woman to be with a little girl who has no friends and can't handle stress so she cuts herself. Hmmmmmm. sense? i think not.
So you rant girlfriend. In fact, i'll rant with you. Want me to break another wedding photo? Come on, i'd do it - but only for you.
TMU 