Thanks TMU- Most of the time i do tell myself that i can't control him, only myself, and when i remember that, i do feel better. Its just that sometimes, the wave of pain crashes particularly hard against my shore. And i start to try to figure out how/why he is doing the things he is doing. I know i will not figure it out. And i am not that optimistic that he will ever come back to a reality with me. But, i do know that i will be okay. I know i will survive it. Its just the getting used to not having him in my life that is going to be hard.
