I know what you feel. I was really down last night myself. I think it’s so difficult for us because for so many years, our H’s have been there for us and we never had to think twice or worry about it. For them to shut down, to stop showing concern, to not exude love anymore, well, it seems incomprehensible. I’ve spent many a moment in “how can he not love me anymore?” thought. Imdi, try really hard to not call him. I was close to breaking last night, but I didn’t do it (although he called me instead). It feels so much better when they reach out first. Tonight just get back into the Laci book (reading about Scott will be enough to make you mad and not call!). Take a hot bath, or have some tea. Or both! Just try to not do it. (I am the worst for giving out this advice and not following it). I know from experience there is nothing I can say that will fill you up in the way H’s voice would. Just know that I care very much, and I do know what it feels like all too well. He is thinking about you, Imdi, even if he isn’t calling. I know it’s hard to imagine it that way, but I believe it. Sending you big hugs. I’ll write again later.
Most of us really marry only once. First love endures, even unto our dying day. And we never really divorce.
