Quote: Nothing happened. It's what it's always been. You're not "hearing" her. Remember, she "avoids" rather than "asserts"... which means she puts on a mask, has not presented you with the true reality; has told you what she thinks you want to hear in order to 'keep the peace'. But she can't take it any more, she feels trapped, and that's what I think you're seeing.
Ok, if she feels 'trapped' then why would she tell me over and over that she is SURE she doesn't want to be married, that she can't believe she stayed in the marriage while she was so hurt? How is that 'what I want to hear'? How does that 'keep the peace'? I'm not understanding you.
Quote: I think what NYS is saying is that your wife, as a conflict avoider, is still avoiding conflict with you. She may well *feel* trapped, even if she isn't. She's trapped within her own emotions (guilt, sadness, love), even though you've opened the cage door.
I don't know if this is making sense to you; it makes sense to me! Please ask if you want clarification.
OK, I understand Amy. She may feel trapped because she can't be with OM and have her 'teaching partner' because she has to stay with the family till the girls grow up.
