I don't know if I can really give you any peace of mind about why your W's, even after the glitter of OM wears off, still can't jump back into your Rs, but here goes.
In my M, both my ex-H and I cheated on each other. The moment I did, I moved out and wanted a D because in my mind, once you start down that road, you need to get out, can't play both fields.
My M had become like death for me. There were times with OM that I felt so alive, a part of me that had been buried for a long time had woken up. It wasn't that I didn't want to let that go, I couldn't let it go. I couldn't let myself die again.
As the A became annoying and the OM showed how pathetic and selfish he was, I no longer wanted that, but still needed to be alive.
Now as life would have it, I couldn't afford to live on my own so my H offered to let me stay with him until I could get back on my feet. As time went by, we both saw things from our past that we weren't ready to throw away yet. We also admitted that even though we were scared of the pain we both had caused each other that we could still love and started to talk about staying together.
My point is, don't fear the freedom that your W's are enjoying right now. I think Frank has the right idea to support W in endeavors. It is obvious that OM is not in the future picture anymore. She may stay in contact with him for a while, because it is her reminder of the freedom she found. But she seems to be seeing that he is not the source of her happiness, she herself is admitting that it is "over". I agree that the more she sees you cheering her on, and the more you share happy safe times like Sunday, it will be natural for her to turn back to you.
No matter how many walls she has built, or how thick they are, you have a huge history, and it is human nature to stay with what is familiar. Take that and use it as best you can.
PS: Please don't let the fact that I am no longer in that M discourage you on this sitch. He is a WAH and I am the one who fought for the M in the end.
