I am go glad for you. I think you are lucky that you and your W have those kinds of things that you both like to do. Me and mine don't really have any activities like Kayaking that we do together. I really hope she can look at this experience and file it away in the "it's good to be a family, WITH Frank" file. It seems like this is what we are supposed to be giving them, reasons to believe that the grass is growing just fine on our side of the fence. I can't draw many parallels between your sitch and mine in the details, but one that I am starting to draw is that the OMs in both our sitches may be losing their luster but for some reason, our W's are clinging to the freedom they felt at the height of the affair. It is an offshoot of the theory that it's not really about the OM. My W said that over and over. If that's true then why don't they realize that it's advantageous to revisit their relationships once the OM fades to see what is possible. For my W I think the reason is because she's spent so much time in pain herself that she refuses to go back to the place where she's vulnerable again. I know after going through this myself, I don't want to do anything that would expose me to it again, even though I know I have to. I hope your W can start trusting the changes in you, and in your case, unlike mine, they are sweeping and easy to see, if not easy to believe in. The longer she feels safe around you, feels that you will not hurt her like she used to, reason has it that she'll warm up to you. Then again, reason plays no part in this. Keep plugging away man. Keep detached. Let her make the ovations and respond with loving kindness. Once again, you are helping yourself, and you're helping us. For that thank you.
