Simple. If he's drinking or drunk you DON'T deal with him.
If he's stone cold sober be aware that drinking is most likely at the forefront of his mind every moment. If he remains sober for the first few weks, understand that pretty much anything you hear him say -good or bad- is the addiction talking.
You would gain so much insight if you would attend an Al Anon meeting, or even AA, if you want a view from the "drunk's " perspective. One of the first things your H has to do is become willing to "deal with life on life's terms", something he has not done for as long as he has actively been drinking.
You need a support system. So does he. Good luck to you and God bless.
