You really had some excellent advice, and I am so, so , so incrediable greatful right now. Especially after today (read my thread if you want details).
H is depressed. He has said so. He has told his mother he is tired of being uphappy. However, H pins all his unhappiness to me. Claims it is what caused the A, causes him to go out and drink. While I feel some responsiability for his uphappiness, I truly do not feel I deserve this, nor is everything my fault. Is this typical of an alcoholic- to blame other people?
This is H 2nd DUI, and he does seem generally remorseful. Knows how incrediably badly he screwed up. Probably didn't need to hear me say he was worthless and a horrible father today... ouch. Not to proud of myself there. I could have showed more compassion, tried not to give into the anger. But I'm tired at this point.. so tired.
Am concerned I am pushing him into even a deeper depression at this point, with my harsh word, threats, boundaries. But I don't know how to "toe the line" between enabling and making sure I maintain my self respect. I would hate to abandon him as he is sinking in an even deeper depression, but am afraid I am contributing to it, and am afraid of being taking down by it as well (if not already).
I just don't know what to do. He has seemed to indicate (pre-DUI) that his life would be better without me in it. He could go out and party and live his life without and constraints on his freedom.
At all just confusing. H has not had a drink since last Sunday to my knowledge. I am trying to keep in mind what you said- the first few weeks are the most difficult. Hoping today's major backslide will not cause irreversiable damage between H and I. I noticed in my H in the past, the "shakes" , when he did not have a drink over the course of a couple days; haven't seen that so far, but have not seen H much since the either.
Anyways, I appreciate the advice. I have no experience in how to deal with an alcoholic, and I am so angry with him rigth now that I don't know that I should stay in this environment. It's not good for him and its not good for me.
Sounds like you had an intersting night the other night....
PF
PetiteFlower
Quote: Follow Your Bliss
~Joseph Campbell
