She and I sat on opposite ends of the couch. Occasionally she would laugh and I would look over at her and she would NOT look at me. Ok, I figure she is ignoring me but that's just not the way she is, even during this 'separation' we are in.
You "figured" she's ignoring you, but maybe you figure wrong by personalizing her being somewhat absorbed in following the movie.
W goes to her room, then comes back into the kitchen looking scared and a little weird. She says 'I don't feel good, I feel dizzy'. I ask her for more information, got a fever, stuff like that. She has her hand on her chest and says 'feel my heart'. I do, it's about 120 BPS. she says 'well, you know those 'magic brownies' we had in the freezer? I ate one of them about an hour ago... Ok, she's all messed up now and I'm wondering if there was anything besides pot in the brownies ...
Anyway, having had experience with pot and with alcohol, both of which will raise your heart rate when they peak, I told her to go lie down and she says 'I want to go to the hospital!'. I tell her that during my drinking period I would have these same symptoms, high heart rate, and it goes away after a few minutes.
I tried to hug her and she pulled away so I backed off.
So here I am, trying to understand WHY after a year or so of having these 'brownies' in the freezer and neither one of us cared to eat them that whole time, she decides she is going to eat one TODAY?
Tomorrow she will be racked with guilt. Oh joy. I will be ignoring the whole thing because it's nothing that needs to be discussed anyway. But she scared the Sh*t out of me when I first had no idea why her heart was beating so fast. And even afterwards when it calmed down. I wonder if she even could tell that I was caring for her. It did't seem like it.
Frank, she was frightened and wanted to get some medical attention, and you didn't help her. Yeah, you're right that pot can make your heart race - and she shouldn't be indulging in that for that reason - but here you are focusing on "WHY after a year or so of having these 'brownies' in the freezer and neither one of us cared to eat them that whole time, she decides she is going to eat one TODAY?" which is insignificant! What is significant is that you let her down when you minimized her request to be taken to the hospital. She pointed that out to you when she spoke of the times you were ill. She pointed out that she was expecting you to take care of her... meaning, she didn't feel you did. You felt you did, she didn't. Hugs wasn't what she needed from you at that moment.
If a message is not understood by the recipient, the message doesn't get across. You have to do it in the recipient's language. And here, the recipient was telling exactly how.
You wonder if she can tell you were caring for her? Wonder no more, to her, it doesn't look like it. That's probably why it doesn't seem like it.
I think an apology is in order, big time.
I remember one time my mom needed some medicine, and my dad refused to get it. I asked him why, and he said, "That $55 can grow to be a million". My jaw dropped.
