Offering to avoid him doesn't help. I understand what you are saying....but both of you are playing the avoiding game. Him, by not being forthcoming, you....by flat-out offering to avoid him in hopes of giving him space etc.
If you offer to avoid him....then he's not forced to deal with you and the situation at hand Kitty. I know it's frustrating in your situation. This is why you've been adviced to backoff. You are coming across to your H as needy, grabby, accusing, and nagging at the moment. That is something that is just so easy to fall into in your sitch....you're looking for answers, that's understandable...unfortunately your approach right now isn't working.
Also, I agree with Honeypot. It appears to me that your issue is more that he's being a selfish lover at this point. If he's not doing anything in your M right now that causes you suspicion for an A...then stop asking if he's having one. Figure out what you are really mad about and address it. I'm sure you are resentful of his past transgression...that's perfectly understandable. But if your stressing out more over the fact that he's being sexually manipulative then that's what you need to concentrate on....by continuing to ask him about an affair you run the risk of pushing him further away
My comment about letting him off the hook was meant in a literal way. By offering to literally physically avoid him...neither of you have to deal with each other or the situation, how does that help? If you want to give him space, then do so....don't bring it up for awhile, but I wouldn't advise offering to widen the physical gap between the two of you by literally avoiding him at home....and that's how I saw your offer to avoid him. He'll avoid you if he wants to avoid you....don't offer to do that for him....that's not a wise move.
Hang in there....finding the right approach for you takes time.
