I have access to the cell phone records (since the phones are in my name) and the checking account. THere arn't any strange numbers on there and no money is missing so I'm almost positive that he isn't cheating anymore. He told me he regrets what he did everyday of his life and dosen't want to hurt me anymore than what he already has. He has changed since the last issue when I walked out on him and told him I wanted nothing to do with him. My problems are when things start to get different (like now) all those feelings rush back to mind and I automatically jump to conclusions and start to wonder if he is cheating. I have real trust issues and no matter what it is, that's the first thing that comes to mind. When he gets mad he was raised to not talk about what is bothering you and just avoid everyone, or if someone is mad at you avoid them and when they feel better they will come to you, where I am the exact opposite. I was raised to talk about what bothers you and work through it and if someone is upset just be there, you don't have to say a word. I am the type of person when I am upset all I want is to be held and I'll calm down and be rational. He won't come near me when I'm mad which makes me even madder. I've tried to explain this to him and when this happens he gets very quite and starts to be secretive, even over stupid things like where he got gas at for the car (since I keep the check book I need to know) and when I calm down then he'll tell me. I know he has cheated on me in the past, but lke I said I don't believe he is now, and he says he's not but I am just so lost I don't know what to do. I really don't have any friends where we live. (I've never been good at making friends) and I can't even go to my parents house because they live almost 3 hours away. So I'm kinda stuck. I'm depressed and hurt.
