And since I suppose there may be a few of us English-only speakers interested in what that says and since Al may need some help with babelfish Italian, here's a more easily readable version:
If you're looking for some answers Well you've come to the wrong place You might find lines, but no valentines Written all over my face I bear no grudge, I wear no frown I just come with calloused hands And I don't mean to bring you down but There is no romance.
I've spent too much of my life waiting Hoping, dreaming, wishing, believing, And way too little of it living Smashing it up and taking and giving I wish someone had warned me While I was still a young man And saved me lots of time and money There is no romance.
Save your stories for the bartender And your crying for the theater And your poems and your diary pages To kill some time in your old age.
There may be gods who hear your prayers And honest men who, men who care And young lovers who say they will wait forever Lives that look like movies and books But the sooner that you learn this The sooner you free your hands To get on with things that really matter There is no romance.
(English lyrics by The Rainmakers)
Why do y'all have that aghast look on your faces?
Stop WaitingFeel EverythingLove AchinglyGive ImpeccablyLet Go
I still say bullsh^t (insert Bronx Cheer here), LOL. Although I must say I like NYSurvivor's version better. It seemed to speak me (about what I have no idea).
Realists, who needs them? I am going over to Lisa's thread to see if she'll purr again.
Hey, kismet! Tell me about it. Geez. Could you take one off my hands, please? But since it would be way too hard to decide between the two, we'll draw staws...or play rock, paper, scissors. I'm just kiddin' guys. I could handle you both prolly. Did I say that out loud? Sheesh. What's the world coming to?
Journaling I've always believed it, but it's more and more clear to me every day how the universe works in mysterious ways. Being only four months into this journey (or one month, if we're counting from the second bomb), I'm still in that frustrating stage of thinking/wanting to come up with some bogus excuse to pick up the phone and call H. Don't you *hate* that?? It's almost like I want to see if his voice has changed any, or if it's still full of hate. But what would it matter, regardless?
Anyway, for some *really* unknown reason, I had it in my head that I was going to post a question here about whether I should just sit down with H again and tell him that I don't want to go through with the whole court thing. It seems soooo easy to me: He and I can work together on this ... we don't want drastically different things. And being drug in and out of court the last three months of my pregnancy isn't what I want. So I guess in a nutshell I was feeling today like I could probably persuade H, if I sat down with him, just to back off a while, and we could compromise between us. And the "deal striking" truly wouldn't be done for totally selfish reasons on my part. I don't want to go through court because I don't want to *take* things from my H. I don't want a judge to slap him around for what he's done. I don't want to watch my L, who my H loves and who he has a tremendous amount of respect for, absolutely tear into H in a courtroom. I don't want to see how hurt I know my old H would be to be on the receiving end of that. And I don't want to watch our once-beautiful M turn into a spitting match. Truth is, I don't want to watch my H self-destruct any more than I already have.
Of course I knew it would be a mistake to call H, because the more smart part of my brain said, "Oh he11 no, GF. We've given him opportunity after opportunity to compromise. We've given him *warnings* of what's to come if he doesn't work with us." (Seriously ... my brain talks like that sometimes ... but only I can hear it. )
I realized it had been a good couple weeks since I last spoke with my H, and I realized that was likely the biggest factor playing in to me wanting to call him. In other words, it wasn't really about getting him to compromise with me, though that would be nice. Instead, it was me, wanting to protect my H again. It was me, wanting to see if he was still the a$$hole he's been the past month. It was me, wanting to hear something different from his voice this time. Since then, I've thought of a *million* reasons why I could or "should" call my H.
But instead, I called my L to get more details about what's going to transpire in the coming weeks -- namely, how long it'll be from the time we file our papers on Friday until we go to court. And he gave me some semi-good news: Calling for/scheduling a hearing won't be up to us. It'll be up to H and his L.
That's great news, because it means H will *know* what he's getting himself into. And it means I don't have to protect him anymore from the possibility of getting chewed out in court. If he wants to go, we'll go. If he doesn't, he can settle with me sometime after we file this week. I had originally thought that my filing on Friday would automatically push a hearing. But that's not the case. H will have to be the one to call for that.
So, no more excuses for H ... and no more reasons for me to feel the need to call and "warn" him about what he's getting himself into. If he wants to walk into that fire, I'll meet him there.
Hey preggo. You may not be romantic, but at least your naughty Poor Kismet. And it looks like we scared the bejeebers out of Lisa too.
So it turns out NOT calling H was the right choice after all? It is hard to throw them to the wolves, and it is just as hard to not manufacture excuses to call. The acid test is the day you find yourself listening to the ringing and waiting for him to answer and realize you hadn't thought about calling him and its pros and cons up until that point. Just like it is when you call anybody else.
Poor Kismet. And it looks like we scared the bejeebers out of Lisa too.
Nah. I got a feeling they'll be back.
So it turns out NOT calling H was the right choice after all?
Yep. I think so.
The acid test is the day you find yourself listening to the ringing and waiting for him to answer and realize you hadn't thought about calling him and its pros and cons up until that point. Just like it is when you call anybody else.
You're right. I think before I get to that point, though, that I'll let him do the calling for a while. And if he doesn't get to that point, then I won't either ... if that makes sense.
Oh my brain is not functioning yet as I am sitting here pmsl, I read Could you take one off my hands, please? as Could you take OFF one of my hands? and I am thinking what are you doing with your hands?
Preggo it has only been 4 months and lawyer's involved already. I am amazed at how quickly things move over there. Us Aussies must be more laid back, I think it is as we are basically a lazier nation and if it came to the choice of going to the pub or lawyer, pub would win every time. But 3 years is the general time span from go to whoa with people I know who've gone through divorce.
So no real advice on the contacting H thing. It would be nice/cheaper if things could be as informal as possible, but you need to make sure you are protecting yourself and the bambinos.
I still find post it notes I have written to myself that I will not contact wah. Much better now, except on those alcohol fueled nights.But I have stern words with myself. I think that 24 hour rule is always a good thing.
I certainly wouldn't have volunteered to go the L route, but H served papers on me in November. They weren't D papers; in N.C., we have to be separated 12 months before we can file for D. He filed an action against me to try to get me out of the house because his name's on the mortgage and mine isn't. But since we're married, I have to sign a transfer of deed before he can sell the house, and I refused to do that.
I have to answer that complaint on Friday (60 days after H filed it), so that's what this is all about. It's basically going to boil down to whether a judge is going to allow my H to evict me from the house right now, while I'm 5 months preggo.
Stemming from that is the issue of spousal support. As long as H is paying the mortgage, I consider that spousal support. But if he is successful in getting me out of the house, then I'll have to have support from him to be able to pay a mortgage or rent. And that's another thing we're fighting over right now.
So that's our struggle in a nutshell. I hate that it's gotten this far, this fast. But H likes to be irrational. And I'll play along 'cause I have to.
I've just melted into the chair 
