Maybe it’s the NPD and maybe it’s just her, but I can guarantee exactly how she would react to that kind of statement. She would get angry at the girls and go off on some big list of all she does for them and all of the times they’ve failed her
Here is another chance to set a boundary. You can have the convo about the girls, with her, and set a boundary that it is UNACCEPTABLE for her to become angry with them/berate them-- act out toward them because of her actions.
She knows its crappy to vent on them. Its sh!t rolling downhill. The buck stops with her. Make her hold the buck.
I would get to hear how she’s given up so much (no specifics mind you) and how she works and slaves for their benefit. I would hear how ungrateful they are. I would hear how undeserving they are of all of the sacrifices and work that she’s done on their behalf.
This is acting like a victim. Cut her off midstream and tell her to take the responsibility for her choices and to be a mother, not a spoiled brat. She is acting like one, so verbally spank her like one.
Ill bet that is exactly what her face will look like.
Does this seem overboard? Is it a lie? ..... Is it scary? What have you got to lose. She may very well get angry angry angry. Punishment is not enjoyable. Do not placate. let it sit with her. Wait it out. the reaction if 'you set you face like steel' will suprise you.
If you see her start to vent on your D's, put yourself in between and tell her to stop. Tell her to leave the room, house, etc. Be their protector. Show them a good example of what being a strong man means.
