I agree with the others who are telling you that you need to tell your W that the kids are avoiding her, whether she sees it or not. True, she has NPD, BUUUUUUT....if she's unaware they are are intentionally avoiding her...she can't address the problem if she wants to. The way I see it is that you are merely giving her information...it's up to her to use the information and do something with it, but absolutely nothing will change unless that information is passed on to her.
