Zb.Perhaps you should let her know what is happening with the way the girls feel. She should be made aware of that. What happens when they grow up and move out? They just never visit you or you guys never get to see your grandchildren because they don't care to be around their mom.
It kind of sounds to me like tip toe around your wife a lot. Have you ever put your foot down and asked her to get a job? I think I seen you mention that she has a spending problem?