I’m just trying to say that W is not the only one responsible for the problems in our M. But the cold, hard fact is that I simply don’t feel guilty any more
No she isnt. and what we are trying to convey to you here, via boundaries, and respect and setting up consequences is your part of the equation to fix. Without those you will have no chance at attraction.
I’m not going to quote you chapter and verse, but you know that the Bible speaks directly against divorce
I wont go tit for tat, just say that the bible only prohibited it for specific reasons. Not saying you should either. Frankly since you have had this NPD revelation I think the best thing that can happen is for you to reach a point of resignation that allows you to say, 'you know what, I have NOTHING to lose by trying to set hard boundaries, demanding respect, not tolerating W's tirades.' For an extreme example, if she gets loud, angry, strident, over bearing, get right up close in her face and say without any fear or anger--'KNOCK IT OFF.' -- and see what happens.
I just want you to understand where I am coming from and how I am struggling here. I do. Clearly. I hope you can see where we are coming from with the difference between being a god fearing, self sacrificing christian and a doormat who is not being the head of his household by letting his wife dishonor, disrespect him.
But it’s so difficult to know that or where to draw that line. When Gods wife Israel disrespected and dishonored him, she paid severe consequences. He was explicit. He was direct. He forgave repeatedly. Untill he eventually divorced her and made a new covenant.
