The steps you suggested may not be all that extreme. It’s just that I’m not mentally prepared to make a break with W. I may get there as the Honey/Bube plan comes to fruition, but I’m not there now.
But really, thank you for your help. I suspect that what you may be absolutely correct. It’s just that I’m not prepared to hear it right now. Loyalty, self-sacrifice, honor, duty, and perseverance may not be virtues when carried to unhealthy extremes, but they are all deeply ingrained into who I am – or at least how I perceive myself. I believe that all of those are intertwined in how I feel and how I react to this sitch. I’m just having a hard time accepting that I need to do something that seems (to me) to be contrary to those things that I hold so dear. I may be wrong in thinking that the actions you recommend are contrary to those precepts, but that’s how I see it from where I am right now.
I may be wrong about this too, but I firmly believe that forced to choose between me and the dogs, W would choose the dogs. I also firmly believe that she would see moving out, or even threatening to move out as abandonment and breaking of trust. Rather than spurring her to do something to fix the R, I think it would cause her to write it off. I may be wrong, but that’s what my gut is telling me.
I will talk to the C about your suggestions though. If he agrees, maybe he can help me over the obstacles I’m throwing into my own path.
