First the dogs. I know it sounds like I’m arguing against myself, but your ideas have little chance of success. I saw two suggestions: running an ad and taking them to the SPCA/Humane Society. To the first, that’s already being done. W is involved in a rescue group. I can live with the dogs that are “our” dogs, the problem is all the rescues. These dogs are living with us, but they’re not ours. The group buys the food, the group pays the vet bills, and the group is actively marketing these dogs. There are ads in the paper, ads in the Greensheet, pictures in the pet stores, pictures on the website, links from petfinders.com, weekly adoption events, and who knows what else. There is nothing, I repeat, nothing I can do to find other homes for these dogs that isn’t already being done much more effectively than I could do it alone.
Number two, the Humane Society. Unfortunately, also not an option. Every no-kill shelter is full. That’s where W’s group gets most of the dogs they have – the SPCA and the Humane Society direct people to various rescue groups when they can’t take any more animals. I can’t take them there – they’re full and they won’t accept them. And now that I’m thinking about it, I just realized that I can’t even take them to the pound to be killed. There is no county pound and the city won’t accept animals unless you can prove that you live in town – which I don’t. My only options are to shoot them or dump them somewhere else.
And what about consequences for the lack of sex. You berate me for doing nothing about it, but what would I do? OK, so she thinks, “What’s he going to do about it – NOTHING.” So what do you suggest I do? What’s a reasonable consequence for not considering my needs? No sex, no car? You can have your cell phone back when I get laid? That may work for a drunk daughter, but it doesn’t seem appropriate for a selfish wife. Even so, I have to agree with CeMar on this one; I don’t want to ML with W if I have to blackmail her into it. I would rather just MB.
So once again, I agree in principle with the boundaries and consequences thing. I have no problem coming up with boundaries either. I just seem to have trouble coming up with consequences and being able to enforce them. Let’s forget the dogs, I can deal with that problem. Sex is the hard one, let’s talk about that. How about a fill in the blank question:
ZB wants to ML three or four times a week, but recognizing that you have a much lower libido, he is willing to content himself with once a week. Saturday morning seems to be your preferred time and that is quite acceptable to him. If this doesn’t start happening on a regular basis, then ___________________________________________________.
