I had an interesting conversation with our MC last week over the whole issue of sleeping nude (this was my first individual session with the therapist). I told her that my fiancee used to sleep nude with me, but now she sleeps in full length flannel pajamas. I said that for months I have been requesting that she sleep nude or perhaps in something less than the pajamas (i.e. a silk nightie, etc.). The therapist suggested that I simply drop this request from my fiancee because it results in the following scenario: if my fiancee agrees to sleep nude, then she may feel that this is an open invitation for sexual advances and this may/will make her uncomfortable. Also, I would then feel rejected, and it would lead to additional sexual tension. The therapist said that if I understand that she is sleeping in her pajamas purely for comfort, and not because she doesn't love me any less, than I should not feel hurt by it.
I understand where the therapist is coming from, as far as how I should see it from my fiancee's perspective. However, this doesn't really make me feel much better as far as explaining WHY she used to sleep in the nude, then she stopped doing it. There was a complete change in behavior, it wasn't like she had not been sleeping nude and then I suddenly requested that she do so. Also, where do you draw the line - should we not shower together, because that MAY lead to sex? Should we not kiss in bed because that could potentially lead to sex as well?
