Thank you again, I really love your take on things! Actually I already had that conversation with my W. I told her I was not putting pressure on her and understood what she needed for herself and from me but that it hurt a great deal. I told her I just needed her to know that, not to hurt her, or to influence her, but to maintain my self respect. She took it very well and said that I should notice that she mopes around the house a lot of the time not because she's tired, but because she knows what she is doing hurts me so much. I told her I was ok (lie) and that she could count on me being there for her to talk or whatever. Again, it was a good conversation, totally free from animosity and conflict. Probably one of the best such conversations we have had.
As for the forcing the issue thing, I KNOW that would be bad right now. Problem is that sometimes I just don't care. Sometimes I just get so angry/hurt/frustrated/weak that I don't care if she goes. Sometimes I feel like if she was gone, and her presence as the constant reminder of what is not, and may never be again, removed from my daily life, I would be a lot happier. I know that is foolish and the number of you here that envy my sitch for having her at home still tell me that over and over again. Maybe someday seeing her lying, beautiful and peaceful in the morning next to me won't choke me up. Maybe it always will. I love my wife dearly and that won't change. I will get through this. I have no freakin idea how but I will.
