Thanks guys! Here's my thing right now. She now says it's not just that she has this other guy (which she's downplaying), but rather this whole other life with friends AND the OM. The means contrary to the usual "life in a bubble" theory of her time with the OM, she is actually socializing with him and probably meeting his friends/becoming close with them. Ok, fine, she has an OM, it may wear off, but if she is forming this whole other life that is free and fun, only to come home to all the pressures of our life; me, the kids, bills, no going out, etc. It is truly clear that even talking to someone (prob the OM) from the other life makes her laugh and happy while around me and the kids she's distant and depressed. I know I'm not supposed to think about these things. This just seems to complicate things SO much more. It's one thing to leave the OM, but an entire support system/set of friends? I feel totally defeated right now. I really feel like I have nothing left. I will go through the motions but I just want to let her go. If she wants out, then go. I don't want to stop her anymore. I actually want to push her out. This is killing me.
