Thanks tim. I guess kinda like a wave it came and went. I am ok now. I just don't know how to turn off my feelings. I DO know how to conceal them though. I am doing pretty well at that. Earlier she never saw a thing. It's just that this "time is on your side" things seems to be so far from the truth. Funny, the most powerful emotion I have had of late, and a part of the roller coaster I have not been on before, is one of apathy. I really felt for awhile that I was done. I just don't care anymore. It isn't worth it. The kids would adjust and if she want to go, then good riddance! I looked up women on match.com and there are some decent ones out there. I know this too will pass, but my heart hurts so much and self preservation is driving me toward some really radical thoughts. I am coping for now, and the rest of the night will probably be ok. I got my rubber band to snap myself when I start thinking too much and I am going to begin operation "dark" in a bit. It should help.
