TMU- I don't think i'm your W...i got no kids! Hee hee!
Re: your W opening up...good question. I have to tell you that it wasn't until i was faced with the real threat of losing my H that i got my ass in gear and realized i had to do something. So, i changed my medication and went back to therapy. That helped my mood, which allowed me to function better as a person. My H has definitely noticed the changes in me. But, it wasn't until we separated that communication really improved b/w us. When we first separated, it was a "therapeutic separation"...we had started therapy and our C suggested this. We set up "rules" for the separation which included continuing therapy and weekly dates. Something had to give b/c things in my house had gotten UNBEARABLE. So, although it was difficult, i moved out. And it really gave us the opportunity to take a step back from each other to heal. Our communication improved sooo much. That separation lasted 6 months before we attempted reconciliation. Obviously that didn't work. But, my H says its b/c he can't trust me b/c he feels i betrayed him. I guess he doesn't see his A (which i don't "know" about) as a betrayal. I am not advocating for you to separate, but i can tell you that it was the space i was willing to give my H that helped our R. He told me once, way before we separated, that my talking about the R and asking for reassurances only pushed him away more b/c i wasn't really hearing him and giving him what he needed/wanted, which only made him realize that i hadn't changed. So, i tried to stop doing that...easier said than done.
I am glad that what i wrote was helpful. Feel free to ask me more questions...i'll answer as best as i can.
