My two cents and this is based upon my own experiences in being the WAS. Talking about the R and OW was a real bummer to me in so many ways. Even though it had ended, I used to dread coming home to be bombarded with questions and pressure. I can remember so many uncomfortable times when my spouse and I would be somewhere and someone would mention something that I knew would remind my W of the EA and I used to cringe on the inside, knowing full well that I was going to be involved in a night-long conversation about it.

In any event, to the best of my meager abilities, I have been taking my own advice and I have found that in the short time that I have been doing that, she has been so much more receptive to just talking. We've actually made each other laugh and smile during this time and last month, I never thought that was possible.

I guess I'm fortuante that my W actually does admit wrongdoing, heck, she's apologized for it countless times.

"Achieve success, but without vanity; Achieve success, but without aggression; Achieve success, but without gain; Achieve success, but without force." Lao Tzu