Ok, I am going to approach this from a different point of view. I'm angry right now and I'll tell you why. All this time I have been trying to figure out what I did wrong in my R. Sure, there are plenty of things BUT the all pertain to my R with my wife, not necessarily to any other part of our life. Why does this make me angry? Well, in going through this process I am trying to improve myself, GAL, and all the other things the books tell us to do. Well, my W only sees me around our house and I have ALWAYS been helpful with the housework, kids, and anything else that needed to be done. I have always been the one to ask her if she needed anything done. I have always been willing to go whatever extra mile needed to be gone for those kind of things. I always ask her how her day was. I always make sure she has time away from the kids to get things done, or have time for herself. In short, while I neglected some of the (ok most of the) romantic aspects of our life for FAR too long, the other things that she could complain about have been really good. So this leaves me trying to improve on areas of myself that would only be evident to a person interested in me romantically because as a roommate I am great! I am not trying to prop myself up here. I am just expressing a different kind of desperation. How can I demonstrate my newfound ability to listen, validate, empathize and be a good friend and husband. I know I still have a long way to go but she's not even looking for the road! Like I have said in the past, it is precisely the fact the I have a life that she resents me so GAL is almost counterproductive in terms of winning her back. In my sitch it would almost be like totally giving up for me to just start going out with friends or being gone any more than I already am. So here I am, living on a message board, grieving for something that isn't dead yet and looking to you all for something. Like Tim said in one of his posts, I feel like I am waiting for one of you to give me "the answer" but I know how silly that idea is. If you had it, you'd have used it on you and wouldn't be here right now. That said, if you do have an answer for me..please tell!
