I wish I could help you but all I can do is offer up what I know. WAS’s are very, very protective of their space, privacy, and all that. They are functioning in selfish mode. Things that a married couple would normally share with one another, the WAS does not wish to share. It’s about breaking away, needing freedom. Don’t expect her to be upfront with you about her A. The lies will continue, even if she ever tells you she’s stopped lying. This happened to me. Someone…I think it was Shocked & Alone…said that they lie to protect our feelings, and I do believe this is somewhat true. My H. knows his A. is very hurtful to me. He doesn’t tell me when he’s with her; he’ll just be vague about his whereabouts. Everyone will tell you don’t pry or push her. If you do that, you’ll just prove to her that she’s doing the right thing (in her mind). I do understand that you want the games to stop, but they most likely won’t. I’m sorry if this isn’t helpful; I just wanted to be honest.
Most of us really marry only once. First love endures, even unto our dying day. And we never really divorce.
