I feel your pain. I am also a control freak and I over analyze everything. I think it is a first born type A personality thing... Anyway, keep coming here. This is my life line! I posted some stuff earlier but got locked up and it disappeared but here I go again: "Love is patient" Don't get in a hurry. Your marriage did not fall apart overnight, and it will not be rebuilt today. Don't set time limits - when you do you are trying to dominate the other person. You are telling them what they must do. That may be part of the reason we are presently in this situation. Give them time. We want them to come home of their own volition.
"Love is kind" What can you say or do that will be useful or beneficial to your spouse? What is to be gained by not being kind to them? Someone else will be.
"...it does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."
I know it is easier said than done but keep trying to "act as if" and stop obsessing if you can. You are only hurting yourself. Come here and vent - we are here for you!
