Quote: Totally,
I am sorry to hear you had a bad night - part of the rollercoaster ride I guess. Check out www.coping.org/control; there are good articles on developing detachment and letting go of uncontrollables.
Like you and Tim this is all that I think about. I need to let it go for awhile - I know when I have in the past things between my H and I are not so tension filled.
I like your analogy "killing me softly with deceit". Well I will kill him with kindness and my unconditional love...
Hope you have a better day today
Thanks. Today is worse so far. The rest of last night was bad, at least from a DB point of view. I just could not seem to pull out of the funk, nor did I do a good "as if" job. I think she saw right through me but she's too far gone to give a damn.
I understand the principals of detachment and also that I have a life-long control issue I only realized last Thursday in my first therapy session.
With me, it's the inability to let the little things slide, or really anything slide. I obsess over everything. I paint scenarios in my head that are true beyond whatever my senses detect. I react to those scenarios and it has caused great problems in my life. Hopefully with continued therapy I will be able to reel in that destructive habit.
Until such time as I can be rid of it, I am being more ruled by it each passing minute. I can't stop the images of them together, us apart, the kids devastated, the divorce or any other horrible thing from flooding my mind.
I want to detach. I want to GAL but I guess I don't want it bad enough.
The only thing I seem to want REALLY bad right now is a confrontation with my W about her affair and I know that's the wrong thing to do right now.
We cleaned the house last night for really the first time since this all started (which is totally unlike my wife who is a clean freak) and I could not help thinking the whole time that we were doing it because he was coming over today...
See what I mean. I want a brainectomy so I can just stop.
She was not nearly in the good mood she was in the days before and neither was I. We passed by each other but almost no talking. It was back to the bad ole days.
I know I must maintain but I am having trouble remembering why.
