It's been a rough night. Almost a wash in terms of DBing. Could not hold it together to save my life. I had to leave the house. Went running for the first time ever. The W questioned it, asking when I learned how to run...nice. I am in shape, but obviously not like her OM. I wish I could just not take things so personally. Anyway, for the first time in awhile, the night is bad. For whatever reason, when I have been with her the past few nights, it's been ok, but not tonight. Dunno why. She didn't see the OM tonight so I am scratching my head. Just can't stop thinking. I can't stop picturing the end of all we have built, the end of my kid's relatively happy home (for them anyway) and the end of every little moment that I have cherished for the past decade. I will pull it together. I am reading again tonight and that should stop the tears for a bit but this is when it's hard. It really is.
