Quote: That is my question also? How do we get our spouses excited and interested in us again? The OM in my situation I believe is attractive because everyone that knows my wife from her doctor to all her friends and family told her to run as far away from this man as possible because of his drinking and gambling issues! But there she is taking a phone call from him in front of me at our friends kids birthday party. She did say one of the reasons she wants to stay in touch with him is because everyone said not to, and she does not want to abandon him in his time for need! So my question is do I need to be needy and an alcoholic to have my W love me again? So being the nice guy, great father, and stable career is a negative and does not need her support? Any ideas? Do I become cold and aloof and see what happens, but this is totally against my personality?
Well Tim, from what I can gather from reading books and Frank_D's thread, it is this part of "re-attracting" that comes much later in the process after all the other healing has begun. That is why I am holding out hope in my situation because I am seeing our friendship re-forming, and stronger. Maybe the weight I have lost (3 days with no food will do that for you...one check off the New Year's Resolutions list) and the new attitude I am trying to cultivate since starting therapy and DBing will cause her to see me in the same attractive light as long ago. Who knows. I think my W's OM is attractive as well but I can't dwell on that. I know nothing else about him, which btw, seems somewhat unique.
