I have posted in the newbie section and a couple random posts here as well but I wanted to really move my main thread to this area because it's where it belongs. Here is my story if you are unaware of it: My sitch
Right now, like more than a few of you, I am in the middle of living with my wife of 8 years who is continuing an affair (we have two small boys 5 & 3) . The real problem, as I have brought up in my other threads is that from the beginning she has said that she was not interested in divorce, separation or anything of the sort. She pretty much said she wanted to have her cake and eat it too. She also said that she knew she had to stop the affair (or end the marriage but again, doesn't consider that an option). So daily, seemingly unlike a lot of you, my wife and I are on pretty good terms, and the extent to which we are totally depends on my ability to tolerate the affair. When I am in my "go f-yourself" mood and just can't take it anymore (which I NEVER express of course) then there is a bit of strain. When I am coping pretty well, then nobody outside our marriage would know anythings wrong. Actually, we are getting along better now on occasion than before she admitted the affair. I am DBing and trying hard to work on myself. The hardest part is that while the daily interaction is "normal" the relationship is totally devoid of intimacy. Is this a good thing? She still goes to see the OM but she thinks she is fooling me. I think SHE thinks she gave me the impression it was over although she never said that. Again, our "friendship" is going fine but so is her affair. Is this a good sign? Should I look to it as a source of hope and just grin and bear the affair until it fizzles or causes her to leave? Do I suffer the constant pain of her being within reach but not being able to touch her? (One recent development is that she is once again either asking me to, or letting me rub her back, which was always an intimate moment before but stops short of hugs or kisses). Am I just in need of more patience? It seems like she could either serve me with papers tomorrow, or announce her renewed commitment to us I just have no idea which. Please, if you see positive in this, any words of encouragement would be greatly appreciated!
