From the variety of the responses you see answers are all over the board. I think it's personal. At some point we need to move on but keep loving. One of the barriers is our co-dependency. It's hard to fill the void in a loss of a loved one. But, if you don't you appear desparate and undesirable. Fix you, don't worry about your spouse everything will work out in time. We just now the definition of what constitutes "will work out." As Father Allendar says "pray to God that the worst happens and give you the strentgh to survive it." That was my prayer, it happened, and I fell a whole lot better about myself. Lance Armstrong won 7 Tour de France after stage 3 cancer and said the best thing that could happen to him was cancer and he prayed it would be the worst. See, in some strange way the counter intuitive works. Believe in the force Luke!
