my divorce is final, is it hopeless

[She_Left_Me]

I'll throw my 2 cents in... I'm in between these two extremes right now. I have been going through this for a year now. I still go through the I will wait / I am done cycles. The one constatnt is that I have detached, and have let her be. She is slowly beginning to show signs of remorse. It takes time for the WAS to take in their new life - for better or worse. It was difficult for me to understand at first, but now I do see it. Time is your ally.

Focus on you, try new things, make new friends. You don't need to be in a relationship to be fulfilled. I am just now realizing this. I have not had a relationship, and am not ready for one. This has allowed me to focus on myself, and IF she changes her mind about US, there is no third person to muddy the water. I learned in my Divorce Care class, that it takes 3-5 years to fully move on. In that time, they strongly suggest you not be in a relationship.

In the end, you must do what is right for you. I am sure, as many of us have, you will sway back and forth. It is only natural. Decide what is best for you at the moment, and take it one day at a time...