A brief synopsis. me: 36 H 34 Two sons - 3 1/2 and 9 Married almost 13 years when bomb dropped Oct. 28, 2003. Found out about OW in Jan. 2004. He'd been very much MLC to a great degree. Last Feb. he started the cycling behavior and had moments of lucidity, breaking up with OW numerous times and reaching towards me, although he ran back into the tunnel every time. (We maintained a very close friendship over the two years) This past fall, he woke up, saw things much differently and I saw far less of the alien. He broke up with OW and moved in with me for economical reasons, although things moved far quicker than we both anticipated from room mates to admitting our feelings to each other.
The transition to a couple was in some ways very easy, but in other ways difficult. He had moments of sadness and times where he felt like things didn't feel right, where he felt weird. But his behavior had been much different than before and it gave me hope. Over the following couple of months, those moments became less, almost non-existent and we became closer and closer. He finally told me he was ready to commit to our marriage again and we exchanged rings in front of our kids and family on Xmas day. There are still bumps at times where I feel fears and he feels sadness from the last two years and his experience with OW. But they fade more and more as new memories replace the old. But our lives have improved in every way. We have passion and intimacy. We have fallen in love with each other all over agian and are happier than we have ever been.
I just wanted to thank you so much for this website and for your book. I truly believe that Divorce Busting helped me keep focused during the last two years that I went through when my husband left. The process was such a valuable learning experience and I can honestly say I wouldn't trade it, although painful and difficult as they were. It doesn't happen overnight. Divorce busting is a process for life regardless of what happens. The knowledge I gained from reading other people's situations and knowing I was not alone and that there was hope made a huge difference while following this path.
