I agree with the others about the "I love yous" I still tell my W, but only after she says it first. I have been living the totally detatched life for months along with the other DBing techniques and it seems as though they have been working, although only partially.
We were on the brink of filing for divorce and now she has asked me to hold off while she re-evaluates. I have remained friendly with her, though detatched. I have validated her feelings, I have been getting a life (I joined a band and I'm going back to college starting tomorrow) and I have kept my mouth shut about the R and the OM.
DBing seems to work. I know that I could have pushed her away forever, and I know things aren't yet perfect, but something seems to be working at least a little.
